17 How an Accountability Partner Can Change Everything

问责伙伴如何改变一切

AFTER SERVING AS a pilot in World War II, Roger Fisher attended Harvard Law School and spent thirty-four years specializing in negotiation and conflict management. He founded the Harvard Negotiation Project and worked with numerous countries and world leaders on peace resolutions, hostage crises, and diplomatic compromises. But it was in the 1970s and 1980s, as the threat of nuclear war escalated, that Fisher developed perhaps his most interesting idea.

在第二次世界大战中担任飞行员之后，罗杰·费舍尔进入哈佛法学院学习，花了三十四年时间专攻谈判和冲突管理。他创立了哈佛谈判项目，并与许多国家和世界领导人就和平解决方案、人质危机和外交妥协进行合作。但是在20世纪70年代和80年代，随着核战争威胁的升级，费舍尔提出了也许是他最有趣的想法。

At the time, Fisher was focused on designing strategies that could prevent nuclear war, and he had noticed a troubling fact. Any sitting president would have access to launch codes that could kill millions of people but would never actually see anyone die because he would always be thousands of miles away.

当时，费舍尔致力于设计能够防止核战争的战略，他注意到了一个令人不安的事实。任何一位现任总统都可以获得能够杀死数百万人的发射密码，但却永远不会亲眼看到任何人死去，因为他总是在数千英里之外。

“My suggestion was quite simple,” he wrote in 1981. “Put that [nuclear] code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, ‘George, I’m sorry but tens of millions must die.’ He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It’s reality brought home.

“我的建议很简单，”他在1981年写道。“把(核)代码放进一个小胶囊里，然后把胶囊植入志愿者的心脏旁边。这位志愿者将随身携带一把又大又重的屠刀陪同总统。如果总统想发射核武器，他唯一能做的就是亲手杀死一个人。总统说，‘乔治，我很抱歉，但是数千万人必须死去他必须看着某个人，意识到什么是死亡ーー什么是无辜的死亡。白宫地毯上的血迹。这就是现实。

“When I suggested this to friends in the Pentagon they said, ‘My God, that’s terrible. Having to kill someone would distort the President’s judgment. He might never push the button.’”

“当我向五角大楼的朋友们提出这个建议时，他们说，‘天哪，这太可怕了。杀人会扭曲总统的判断。他可能永远不会按那个按钮。”’

Throughout our discussion of the 4th Law of Behavior Change we have covered the importance of making good habits immediately satisfying. Fisher’s proposal is an inversion of the 4th Law: Make it immediately unsatisfying.

在我们关于第四条行为变化法则的讨论中，我们已经提到了立即养成令人满意的好习惯的重要性。费舍尔的建议是第四定律的倒置:让它立刻变得不令人满意。

Just as we are more likely to repeat an experience when the ending is satisfying, we are also more likely to avoid an experience when the ending is painful. Pain is an effective teacher. If a failure is painful, it gets fixed. If a failure is relatively painless, it gets ignored. The more immediate and more costly a mistake is, the faster you will learn from it. The threat of a bad review forces a plumber to be good at his job. The possibility of a customer never returning makes restaurants create good food. The cost of cutting the wrong blood vessel makes a surgeon master human anatomy and cut carefully. When the consequences are severe, people learn quickly.

正如当结局令人满意时，我们更有可能重复一次经历，当结局令人痛苦时，我们也更有可能避免一次经历。疼痛是有效的老师。如果失败是痛苦的，那么它会得到修复。如果失败相对来说没有痛苦，它就会被忽略。一个错误越是直接和代价越大，你就会越快从中吸取教训。糟糕评论的威胁迫使管子工把工作做好。顾客再也不回来的可能性使得餐厅创造出了美味的食物。切割错误血管的成本使外科医生精通人体解剖学并且切割得小心翼翼。当后果严重时，人们学得很快。

The more immediate the pain, the less likely the behavior. If you want to prevent bad habits and eliminate unhealthy behaviors, then adding an instant cost to the action is a great way to reduce their odds.

疼痛越快，行为越不可能发生。如果你想要防止坏习惯并消除不健康的行为，那么在行动中立即增加成本是降低这些行为发生几率的一个很好的方法。

We repeat bad habits because they serve us in some way, and that makes them hard to abandon. The best way I know to overcome this predicament is to increase the speed of the punishment associated with the behavior. There can’t be a gap between the action and the consequences.

我们重复坏习惯是因为它们以某种方式为我们服务，这使得我们很难改掉它们。我所知道的克服这种困境的最好方法就是加快与行为相关的惩罚的速度。在行动和结果之间不能有差距。

As soon as actions incur an immediate consequence, behavior begins to change. Customers pay their bills on time when they are charged a late fee. Students show up to class when their grade is linked to attendance. We’ll jump through a lot of hoops to avoid a little bit of immediate pain.

一旦行动产生了立竿见影的后果，行为就开始改变。客户按时支付账单，因为他们要缴纳滞纳金。当学生的成绩与出勤率挂钩时，他们就会出现在课堂上。我们会跳过很多障碍，以避免一点点立即的痛苦。

There is, of course, a limit to this. If you’re going to rely on punishment to change behavior, then the strength of the punishment must match the relative strength of the behavior it is trying to correct. To be productive, the cost of procrastination must be greater than the cost of action. To be healthy, the cost of laziness must be greater than the cost of exercise. Getting fined for smoking in a restaurant or failing

当然，这是有限度的。如果你打算依靠惩罚来改变行为，那么惩罚的力度必须与它试图改正的行为的相对力度相匹配。要想富有成效，拖延的代价必须大于行动的代价。为了健康，懒惰的代价必须大于锻炼的代价。在餐厅吸烟或失败被罚款

to recycle adds consequence to an action. Behavior only shifts if the punishment is painful enough and reliably enforced.

循环使一个行为增加了后果。只有当惩罚足够痛苦并且可靠地执行时，行为才会改变。

In general, the more local, tangible, concrete, and immediate the consequence, the more likely it is to influence individual behavior. The more global, intangible, vague, and delayed the consequence, the less likely it is to influence individual behavior.

一般来说，越是局部的、有形的、具体的和直接的后果，就越有可能影响个体的行为。结果越全球化，越无形，越模糊，越拖延，就越不可能影响个人行为。

Thankfully, there is a straightforward way to add an immediate cost to any bad habit: create a habit contract.

值得庆幸的是，有一个简单的方法可以让任何坏习惯立即付出代价:创建一个习惯契约。

THE HABIT CONTRACT

习惯性收缩

The first seat belt law was passed in New York on December 1, 1984. At the time, just 14 percent of people in the United States regularly wore a seat belt—but that was all about to change.

第一部安全带法于1984年12月1日在纽约通过。当时，美国只有14%的人经常系安全带，但这种情况即将发生改变。

Within five years, over half of the nation had seat belt laws. Today, wearing a seat belt is enforceable by law in forty-nine of the fifty states. And it’s not just the legislation, the number of people wearing seat belts has changed dramatically as well. In 2016, over 88 percent of Americans buckled up each time they got in a car. In just over thirty years, there was a complete reversal in the habits of millions of people.

五年之内，全国一半以上的人都制定了安全带法。今天，系安全带在五十个州中的49个州是可以依法强制执行的。不仅仅是法律，佩戴安全带的人数也发生了戏剧性的变化。2016年，超过88%的美国人每次上车都扣上安全带。在短短三十多年的时间里，数百万人的习惯发生了彻底的转变。

Laws and regulations are an example of how government can change our habits by creating a social contract. As a society, we collectively agree to abide by certain rules and then enforce them as a group. Whenever a new piece of legislation impacts behavior—seat belt laws, banning smoking inside restaurants, mandatory recycling—it is an example of a social contract shaping our habits. The group agrees to act in a certain way, and if you don’t follow along, you’ll be punished.

法律和法规就是政府如何通过建立社会契约来改变我们的习惯的一个例子。作为一个社会，我们集体同意遵守某些规则，然后作为一个群体执行这些规则。无论什么时候，只要一项新的立法——安全带法、禁止在餐馆内吸烟、强制回收——影响了我们的行为，它就是社会契约塑造我们习惯的一个例子。这个团队同意以某种方式行动，如果你不遵守，你将会受到惩罚。

Just as governments use laws to hold citizens accountable, you can create a habit contract to hold yourself accountable. A habit contract is a verbal or written agreement in which you state your commitment to a particular habit and the punishment that will occur if you don’t follow through. Then you find one or two people to act as your accountability partners and sign off on the contract with you.

正如政府利用法律让公民负起责任，你也可以创造一个习惯契约，让自己负起责任。习惯契约是一个口头或书面的协议，你在其中陈述你对一个特定习惯的承诺以及如果你不坚持到底将会发生的惩罚。然后你找一两个人作为你的责任合作伙伴，与你签订合同。

Bryan Harris, an entrepreneur from Nashville, Tennessee, was the first person I saw put this strategy into action. Shortly after the birth of his son, Harris realized he wanted to shed a few pounds. He wrote up a habit contract between himself, his wife, and his personal trainer. The first version read, “Bryan’s #1 objective for Q1 of 2017 is to start eating correctly again so he feels better, looks better, and is able to hit his long-term goal of 200 pounds at 10% body fat.”

布莱恩·哈里斯，一位来自田纳西州纳什维尔的企业家，是我见到的第一个将这一策略付诸行动的人。儿子出生后不久，哈里斯意识到他想减掉几磅。他在自己、妻子和私人教练之间写下了一份习惯契约。这个第一个版本是这样写的:“布莱恩2017年第一季度的首要目标是恢复正常的饮食，这样他感觉更好，看起来更好，并且能够达到他的长期目标——在体脂10%的情况下减掉200磅。”

Below that statement, Harris laid out a road map for achieving his ideal outcome:

在这份声明之下，哈里斯提出了一份实现他理想结果的路线图:

Phase #1: Get back to a strict “slow-carb” diet in Q1.

第一阶段:回到第一阶段严格的“低碳水化合物”饮食。

Phase #2: Start a strict macronutrient tracking program in Q2.

第二阶段:在第二季度开始一个严格的大量营养素追踪计划。

Phase #3: Refine and maintain the details of his diet and workout program in Q3.

第三阶段:在第三阶段完善和维护他的饮食和锻炼计划的细节。

Finally, he wrote out each of the daily habits that would get him to his goal. For example, “Write down all food that he consumes each day and weigh himself each day.”

最后，他写下了每一个能帮助他实现目标的日常习惯。例如，“写下他每天吃的所有食物，每天称体重。”

And then he listed the punishment if he failed: “If Bryan doesn’t do these two items then the following consequence will be enforced: He will have to dress up each workday and each Sunday morning for the rest of the quarter. Dress up is defined as not wearing jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, or shorts. He will also give Joey (his trainer) $200 to use as he sees fit if he misses one day of logging food.”

然后他列出了如果他失败的惩罚:“如果布莱恩没有做到这两点，那么以下的后果将被强制执行:他将不得不在每个工作日和每个星期天早晨打扮起来，直到本学期剩下的时间。正装的定义是不穿牛仔裤、t恤、连帽衫或短裤。他还会给乔伊(他的教练)200美元，如果他缺席一天的伐木食物，他认为合适的话就可以使用。”

At the bottom of the page, Harris, his wife, and his trainer all signed the contract.

在页面的最下面，哈里斯、他的妻子和他的教练都签了合同。

My initial reaction was that a contract like this seemed overly formal and unnecessary, especially the signatures. But Harris convinced me that signing the contract was an indication of seriousness. “Anytime I skip this part,” he said, “I start slacking almost immediately.”

我最初的反应是，像这样的合同似乎过于正式和不必要，尤其是签名。但是哈里斯让我相信签署这份合同意味着一种认真的态度。“每次我跳过这一部分，”他说，“我几乎立即开始懈怠。”

Three months later, after hitting his targets for Q1, Harris upgraded his goals. The consequences escalated, too. If he missed his carbohydrate and protein targets, he had to pay his trainer $100. And if he failed to weigh himself, he had to give his wife $500 to use as she saw fit. Perhaps most painfully, if he forgot to run sprints, he had to dress up for work every day and wear an Alabama hat the rest of the quarter—the bitter rival of his beloved Auburn team.

三个月后，在完成了第一季度的目标之后，哈里斯提升了他的目标。后果也升级了。如果他错过了碳水化合物和蛋白质的目标，他必须付给他的教练100美元。如果他没有称体重，他不得不给他妻子500美元，让她按照自己认为合适的方式使用。也许最痛苦的是，如果他忘记了短跑，他就不得不每天穿戴整齐去上班，并在剩下的时间里戴上阿拉巴马的帽子——这是他心爱的奥本队的劲敌。

The strategy worked. With his wife and trainer acting as accountability partners and with the habit contract clarifying exactly what to do each day, Harris lost the weight.*

这个策略奏效了。与他的妻子和教练充当责任伙伴，与习惯契约明确每天做什么，哈里斯减肥。

To make bad habits unsatisfying, your best option is to make them painful in the moment. Creating a habit contract is a straightforward way to do exactly that.

要让坏习惯不能令人满意，你最好的选择就是让它们在当下痛苦不堪。创建一个习惯契约就是这么做的一个简单的方法。

Even if you don’t want to create a full-blown habit contract, simply having an accountability partner is useful. The comedian Margaret Cho writes a joke or song every day. She does the “song a day” challenge with a friend, which helps them both stay accountable. Knowing that someone is watching can be a powerful motivator. You are less likely to procrastinate or give up because there is an immediate cost. If you don’t follow through, perhaps they’ll see you as untrustworthy or lazy. Suddenly, you are not only failing to uphold your promises to yourself, but also failing to uphold your promises to others.

即使你不想建立一个成熟的习惯契约，仅仅有一个责任伙伴是有用的。喜剧演员赵牡丹每天都写一个笑话或一首歌。她和一个朋友一起做“每天一首歌”的挑战，这有助于他们保持责任感。知道有人在监视可以成为一个强大的动力。你不太可能因为直接成本而拖延或放弃。如果你不坚持到底，也许他们会认为你不值得信任或者懒惰。突然之间，你不仅没有兑现对自己的承诺，也没有兑现对他人的承诺。

You can even automate this process. Thomas Frank, an entrepreneur in Boulder, Colorado, wakes up at 5:55 each morning. And if he doesn’t, he has a tweet automatically scheduled that says, “It’s 6:10 and I’m not up because I’m lazy! Reply to this for $5 via PayPal (limit 5), assuming my alarm didn’t malfunction.”

你甚至可以将这个过程自动化。科罗拉多州博尔德市的企业家托马斯·弗兰克每天早上5:55起床。如果他没有，他会自动安排一条推文，上面写着:“现在是6:10，我不起床是因为我懒!”！回复这5美元通过贝宝(限额5)，假设我的闹钟没有故障。”

We are always trying to present our best selves to the world. We comb our hair and brush our teeth and dress ourselves carefully because we know these habits are likely to get a positive reaction. We want to get good grades and graduate from top schools to impress potential employers and mates and our friends and family. We care about the opinions of those around us because it helps if others like us. This is precisely why getting an accountability partner or signing a habit contract can work so well.

我们总是试图向世界展示我们最好的自己。我们梳理头发，刷牙，仔细打扮自己，因为我们知道这些习惯可能会得到积极的反应。我们希望取得好成绩，从一流学校毕业，给潜在的雇主、同事、朋友和家人留下深刻印象。我们关心周围人的意见，因为如果别人喜欢我们，这会有所帮助。这就是为什么找一个有责任感的伴侣或者签署一份习惯合同能够如此有效的原因。

Chapter Summary

The inversion of the 4th Law of Behavior Change is make it unsatisfying.

行为变化第四定律的反演使其不能令人满意。

We are less likely to repeat a bad habit if it is painful or unsatisfying.

如果一个坏习惯令人痛苦或不满意，我们就不太可能重复它。

An accountability partner can create an immediate cost to inaction. We care deeply about what others think of us, and we do not want others to have a lesser opinion of us.

一个有责任心的合作伙伴会给不作为带来直接的代价。我们非常在意别人对我们的看法，我们不希望别人对我们的看法较差。

A habit contract can be used to add a social cost to any behavior.

习惯契约可以用来增加任何行为的社会成本。

It makes the costs of violating your promises public and painful.

它使违背你的承诺的代价公开而痛苦。

Knowing that someone else is watching you can be a powerful motivator.

知道有人在看着你，你就能成为一个强大的动力。